VIRAL REVEAL: “Timothée Chalamet or Secret Rapper EsDeeKid?”
A deep-dive investigation exposes what’s behind November’s wildest internet theory — and one shocking detail might just change everything 👇🔥

Is Timothée Chalamet the rapper EsDeeKid? A rigorous journalistic investigation

Stress-testing November’s favourite internet conspiracy theory with facts and logic Given how many internet conspiracies are actively harmful to our social fabric, it’s always heartening to see one that’s slightly lower stakes. How about: Timothée Chalamet, A-lister, our swaggy Paul Atreides and star of the upcoming Marty Supreme, is secretly EsDeeKid, a viral rapper from Liverpool, whose songs have been climbing into the top 20 of the UK singles chart in recent weeks.

This theory is, yes, a bit out there, but cannot be instantly dismissed, because EsDeeKid is anonymous – in all his pictures and at all his shows, he’s either wearing a mask or a balaclava that covers every bit of his face besides a strip of flesh at eye level. Like Chalamet, he’s white, and as the meme – let’s call it TimmyKid – has gained momentum, people have been having fun comparing and aligning photos of their eyes to try and prove the point.

Where the hell did this come from? Ground zero is seemingly a TikTok posted on 11^th November, in which one KJ Freeman announces that “this is going to sound crazy” before laying out her very, very circumstantial evidence. The main points: Chalamet and EsDeeKid have similar(ish) green eyes; they sometimes wear similar or identical clothes, such as a skull-print Alexander McQueen scarf; Chalamet likes rap music, and was seen at a London show of EsDeeKid collaborator Fakemink.

Never mind that this foundational video described EsDeeKid as “Scotch”, a regional confusion that would probably offend both Scousers and Scotsmen. Or it being quite unlikely that if Chalamet rapped, he’d choose to rap as a Liverpudlian (even if A Complete Unknown proves he has the vocal mimicking chops to do it). TimmyKid has grown wings, to the point where Timmy himself has commented a 👀emoji under an Instagram post about it. As Freeman says, “it’s in his DNA to do some shit like that”. If any of Hollywood’s leading men were to set up themselves as an anonymous northern English rapper, it would be Chalamet.

This calls for some serious investigative journalism. The people need to know. So I rolled up my sleeves and dug in, obsessively mapping EsDeeKid and Chalamet’s movements like I was recreating that conspiracy theory chart meme. And at first, I felt like I was pulling at the thread of something huge. Take the last few days. EsDeeKid supported Yung Lean at Wembley Area on the night of Saturday 22^nd. Chalamet, despite being one of the most photographed men alive, hasn’t been seen in public since Friday 21^st, when he was in New York – more than enough time to hop on a plane across the Atlantic and tear down a set in London. Combing backwards through their schedules – Chalamet’s Marty Supreme promo appearances, and EsDeeKid’s European tour – and the dates interlock spookily well. For someone with a private jet on standby, it seems plausible.

But then we hit on 9^th October. EsDeeKid played a show in Milan that evening, while Chalamet, over in New York, pulled up to a Marty Supreme screening flanked by minions with ping pong ball heads. The Milan show was scheduled to run from 8pm to 1am Italian time; the screening started at 9pm East Coast time. Was it possible to bridge the gap? Let’s say, generously, that TimmyKid left his performance at 10pm, and arrived at the cinema at 10pm. Allowing for the time difference, that gives him six hours to cross continents. Let’s assume a speedy, chopper-assisted airport transfer of 30 mins on either end – five hours.

Supersonic Concorde planes crossed the Atlantic in as little as 2 hours and 52 minutes. But because they tended to crash, they’ve been grounded since 2003; the fastest subsonic Atlantic crossing was achieved in February 2020, taking 4 hours and 56 minutes. But this, alas, was going from America to Europe, which is up to an hour quicker than the opposite direction thanks to the jet stream, an air current which blows from west to east (told you I got deep into this).

Bearing this in mind, plus the extra time it takes to fly from Milan rather than, say, Dublin or London, and it just doesn’t fit. Most flights from Milan to New York take about nine hours, in fact. If Chalamet is not the secret owner of a supersonic jet or some groundbreaking teleportation technology, there is no possible way he could’ve got from a club in Milan to a cinema in Times Square on the evening of 9^thOctober. Hence, there is no way he could be EsDeeKid. Sorry to ruin your fun, internet.