The former This Morning host and the TV producer have been married since 2007

Holly Willoughby recently stepped down from her role on This Morning in order to protect her family following an alleged kidnap plot.

The presenter married the TV producer on 4 August 2007 and went on to welcome three children Harry, Belle and Chester. While she tends to keep her home life private, Holly has shared a few rare comments about the rules she and Dan follow in order to maintain a happy marriage.

The couple got married in 2007

From anger management to dealing with weaknesses, take a look inside the Dancing on Ice star’s relationship secrets…

Anger management

Holly admitted she felt “frightening” anger in her marriage in her book Reflections, and said it stemmed from her subconscious fears about being controlled.

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The couple have harnessed anger to help them through problems

“If I’m watching something on TV and my husband suddenly asks, ‘Why are you watching this [expletive]?’, it’ll spark something deep inside and I will get disproportionately angry about it,” she wrote.

“But actually I’m angry because I subconsciously feel as though someone’s trying to control what I’m doing. My husband absolutely isn’t trying to control me, but I’m getting a really strong reaction, so maybe I’m worried about control in my life.”

She went on the state that they have harnessed anger in order to work through their problems as a couple. At An Evening With Holly Willoughby, the 40-year-old mother-of-three explained: “When I started to reconnect with my emotions I found I was getting angry all the time. And Dan’s like, ‘I wish you could not be so angry’. So I would be getting really angry and he would be like, ‘I’m not sure this is good’.

“It was scary and frightening but I thought, ‘Let’s just stick with it and see where it goes’. And now I love it! Because talking through your problems can take you months or weeks but in a hot flash of anger you’ll shout something and rip the band-aid off. You don’t have to be afraid of it or be scared by it.”

Every couple has weaknesses, but it’s about how you deal with them, according to Holly. “Support is everything in mine and Dan’s relationship,” she told Red Magazine.

Opening up about her own struggles, she continued: “He’s very solid ground; he is where I fall. And he knows when something is wrong – it makes me feel emotional even thinking about it. But of course, he has weaknesses; we both do. The key is holding up each other’s strengths and not poking at each other’s weaknesses.

“There are little moments that I really cherish when he tells me he’s proud of me and vice versa.”

Joking about her husband’s downfalls, Holly said: “He can wind you up to the point where you just want to scream, but he has a really good moral fibre that runs through him.”

Keep the spark alive

© Samir Hussein
Holly opened up about how she maintains a happy marriage with her husband Dan

In the day-to-day life of balancing work with parenting, Holly has said it’s important to keep the spark and romance alive and reconnect as a couple. She told Zoe Ball on Radio 2: “I have a very happy relationship with my husband. I love him, I still fancy him – which is fantastic. I’m very blessed in many, many ways.”

Holly attributed this as one of her biggest secrets to a happy relationship. “I often think about us and the glue that binds us together. Every relationship is so unique and different; what works for one couple may not for another,” she wrote on her lifestyle website Wylde Moon.

“Mine would have to be remembering to carve out real time for each other within the madness of everyday life; everything from making time to talk over dinner at home to date nights.” She concluded: “Whatever you do to keep the spark alive, keep it up!”

Work hard

This leads to Holly and Dan’s next rule – you have to continue to make an effort for one another.

“I’d say you have to work hard not to take each other for granted. Continue to make the effort throughout your relationship,” Holly confessed during a chat with Wylde Moon.

“By effort, I’m not talking about looking nice for your husband, I’m talking about carving out time in your lives for each other. If you can’t have a date night, then make sure you sit around the table and eat together, have a glass of something and talk through your day.

“It’s so easy to live under the same roof and experience the same life but in parallel lanes rather than together. Sometimes you forget to look up and really see each other. ‘Oh there you are… there you actually are’. If you continue to put as much energy into your marriage as you do all the other relationships you have in life, you’ll not go far wrong,” she added.

Make sacrifices

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Holly and Dan share three kids

Not all parts of marriage are easy, and Holly admitted that she has had to make some sacrifices in order to prioritise her family, including giving up her former lifestyle brand Truly. “You cannot have it all,” she said to The Telegraph’s Stella magazine.

“Truly was something I was very passionate about, but my husband has a really high-pressured, busy job and I have three kids and other projects. My son Harry has really got into football and I want to be able to take him there so he can do what he loves.”

The blonde beauty added: “I didn’t want to be in a position where I was working in the evenings and couldn’t be with them. It’s not just about me having my dream and everyone fitting round it, it’s about putting family first and making that choice. So in the end it was very clear, I just had to pull back and say: ‘No.'”

She added her priorities have always been clear, explaining that she would be “absolutely OK” if her career ended, but “it would be the end of my world” if her marriage with Dan broke down.

Always communicate

We’ve all heard this one, but Holly insists there’s a lot of weight behind it. “We’re always being told that communication is the key to a healthy and happy relationship, yet it can be the first thing to slip when life gets busy,” she said.

“A simple breakdown in conversation can lead to problems that otherwise may not appear. I think Dan and I work hard to make sure we keep talking – and after reading this, I’m going to try even harder!”