From the peach scene to the wound cleaning scene and more, week after week, The Summer I Turned Pretty Season 3 brings fan-favorite moments from Jenny Han’s bestselling book series to screen. In Season 3, Episode 7, we finally got Conrad’s highly-anticipated love confession. And, uh, prepare to be devastated!

Spoilers for The Summer I Turned Pretty Season 3, Episode 7 ahead.

TSITP Season 3, Episode 7, “Last Hurrah,” shows Belly (Lola Tung) and Jeremiah’s (Gavin Casalegno) loved ones arriving in Cousins ahead of the wedding. Conrad (Christopher Briney) takes Jere and his pals on a bachelor party bar crawl, while Taylor (Rain Spencer) and Anika (Sofia Bryant) hit the town with Belly. After a mix of alcohol and surprising revelations — including Belly realizing Conrad was the one who convinced her mom to come around on the wedding, and Conrad learning about Jere’s Cabo hookup — the night ends with an emotional beach confession, a renewed sense of doubt, and a flood of tears.

Ahead of their last hurrahs, Belly and Jere agree to end the night together on the beach, but when Jere gets drunk and passes out in bed, Belly bumps into Conrad on the sand instead. Still fuming from finding out about Jere’s Cabo fling, he invites Belly to sit and chat, then spills troubling news. When Belly assures him she already knew, that Jere hates himself for the mistake, and that she forgave him, the flood gates open and Conrad’s pent up frustrations, fears, and feelings pour out.

“You’re still marrying him, now? That was a few months ago, Belly. Wh…what the fuck?!” Conrad asks. “Are you kidding me? I mean, knowing is one thing, but you’re defending him. Why?!”

Belly tells Conrad it’s none of his business. When she says she put up with a lot worse from him he reminds her he “never so much as looked at another girl” when they were together. She storms off, and he follows, questioning the rushed wedding and channeling his inner Jess Mariano “WHY did you DROP of of YALE?!” scene to ask why she’s getting married at a country club. “WHO ARE YOU?!” he asks. When Belly continues to push his concerns aside, Conrad lays himself bare.
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“Fuck. I still love you. I don’t think I’ll ever get you out of my system. You will always be there. Here. It’s not all of a sudden, Belly. Don’t you realize that? It’s always,” he admits, tears welling. “I fucked up four years ago. You remember that night in the motel? When I told you that I still wanted you? I couldn’t sleep that night. I loved you. I know I did. But I knew that if I kept you with me I would hurt you, and so I couldn’t have that. I knew it. And I saw you and Jere, and I saw how happy you guys made each other, and so I tried to let you go. But then this summer, being around you again, and talking the way that we used to, and you looking at me the way that you used to. I just, I see you again and all my plans go to shit. I love Jeremiah. He’s my brother, he is my family. And I hate myself for doing this, but when I see the two of you guys together, I fucking hate him.”

Briney’s performance here is absolutely gutting. His eyes glisten with tears. His forehead crinkles in silent emphasis of overwhelming emotions. His voice cracks as he brings Jenny Han’s text off the page with heartbreaking accuracy, palpably tapping into Conrad’s pain. Each word that escapes his lips carries twinges of regret, guilt, and earnest passion, leading up to the three sentences that everyone who read the books has been anxiously, eagerly anticipating.

Belly asks him not to say it, but he can’t hold it in any longer: “Don’t be with him. Don’t marry him. Be with me.” *SCREAMS!!!!!!!!!!!*

As Belly processes his words, she cycles between raw emotions, self-preservation tactics, and cautious word choices designed to dispute the very truths she’s been confronting over the past few episodes; the ones she just admitted to Taylor. She still has feelings for Conrad. She always has. But in this moment, the reality that requited love is fully within her grasp, so easily able to torpedo Jere’s feelings and all she’s been planning for if she lets it, is too terrifying to accept. Rather than make herself equally vulnerable, she puts her guard up higher than ever to crush any shred of hope Conrad has — and in turn, her own doubts about choosing Jere over him — once and for all.

“You will never be what Jere is to me,” she snaps back. “He’s my best friend. And he loves me no matter what, and he doesn’t take it away when things get hard. Nobody has ever treated me the way that he does. Nobody. Least of all you. You and I…You and I were never anything.” Help! IT PHYSICALLY HURTS!!!!!!!

As Belly leaves a teary-eyed Conrad behind on the beach, James Blake’s “When The Party’s Over” plays — a different version of the same song in an earlier Bonrad scene, when Belly also told him Conrad was too late. In present day, she walks for a while, looks back to confirm she’s alone, and allows herself to break down, sobbing and holding her chest in pain. As expected, fans are going thought it!

How TSITP‘s Conrad Confession Played Out In The Books

With each Season 3 deep dive, Decider likes to compare the show to the book. And for those curious, Han stayed close to the text dialogue-wise in this scene. In the book, however, things were told from Belly’s point of view and lent extra emotional insight.

As Conrad confessed his love, her inner monologue was racing and she actively struggled to maintain composure. She counted seconds and concentrated on breathing to distract herself from going places she was terrified of mentally. She actively told herself, “It didn’t matter what he said now,” but admitted her heart was breaking. “There were so many things I wanted to say to him. But I couldn’t. With Conrad, once I started, I couldn’t stop,” the text read. “I dropped down in the sand and cried for Conrad and then for me. I cried for what was never going to be.”

“It’s a known fact that in life, you can’t have everything. In my heart, I knew I loved them both, as much as it is possible to love two people at the same time. Conrad and I were linked, we would always be linked. That wasn’t something I could do away with. I knew that now — that love wasn’t something you could erase, no matter how hard you tried,” the text continued.

In the book, Belly returned to the house, got into bed with Jere, and said, “I love you ” to his back. In the series, Belly crawls into bed with Taylor and cries as Taylor Swift’s “LOML” plays. She knocks on Jere’s wall as she’s done so many times before, but he doesn’t respond in a crushing creative choice that confirms they’re on different pages; that things aren’t what they used to be.