Galadriel in ‘The Rings Of Power’

CREDIT: AMAZON
I’m not sure what to think about the glowing reviews of Amazon’s The Rings Of Power Season 2 but I’m tempted to say that the critics must be crazy. I’ve said it before and Eru knows I’ll say it again. With just 39 critic reviews in at the time of this writing—prior to the first three episodes dropping this Thursday, August 29th—the show is at a startling 85% Fresh, 2 percentage points above Season 1’s 83% (with 491 critic reviews).

From what I’ve gathered, some critics have watched just the first three episodes while others have seen the entire season. It’s less clear why this is the case. In Season 1, critics were given just two episodes (which I initially enjoyed, before losing faith as the season wore on). It’s not enough to judge an entire season of television by, and I wish Rotten Tomatoes would not offer up seasonal scores until the entire season was out and reviewed. But that’s another bone to pick, another time, though I have a dog in both these fights. (I discuss some of the problems with how RT handles TV show reviews here—one of which is the fact that an RT aggregate does not say exactly how positive or negative each individual critic is. For instance, 85% of critics could have given this show a 6.5/10 and it would still be 85%).

Suffice to say, I do not trust this score, though I am open to being wrong in my skepticism. I do not trust the critical consensus when it comes to shows like this or The Acolyte (I don’t think it deserves 78%) or Netflix’s bizarrely praised Hit Man or the dreadful True Detective: Night Country. There’s something odd about all these mediocre offerings receiving such gushing praise over and over again. Do we no longer have standards? The broader culture never has, but shouldn’t critics? What happened?

Then there is the question of bias. Screeners only went out to some outlets. Was Amazon being selective about who received these early screeners, hoping to ensure a better Rotten Tomatoes score before the premiere? This sort of thing happens all the time. It’s not at all unusual. Consumers should be appropriately suspect of early reviews, especially when it comes to TV shows. Despite admitting that the trailers have looked pretty good, I just don’t buy it. Like this season’s villain, Annatar, trailers can be deceiving.

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That being said, I’d love it if I were wrong and The Rings Of Power turned out to be great. I would love to watch a brilliant show set in Tolkien’s Middle-earth. I simply have no faith after Season 1. Why should I? I do suspect it will be better than Season 1, but that’s not saying much.

Of course, I haven’t asked the sea whether Season 2 will be an improvement over the first (not in and of itself a particularly challenging feat). I probably should. After all, the sea is always right. I’ll go to the sea and say: “Give me the meat and give it to me raw!” and the sea will say “Do you know why a ship floats but a rock sinks?” and I will say “Morrrrdor!” and we will all have a good laugh; the meat, the sea and I.

To be fair, there were some good moments in the first season and even some good lines interspersed among all the bad. The orcs were really cool, with the best makeup and design of any orcs on TV or in movies. And some turns of phrase really turned nicely. “There can be no trust between hammer and rock” is a pretty good line.

But many of the better lines are just bits from The Lord of the Rings twisted and shoved into these characters’ mouths. “No matter the sorrow, no matter the cost, not all those who wonder or wander are lost” is hardly original, dear Harfoots. Most of the “deep” lines in the series are just kind of silly—phrases that are trying so very hard to sound deep, but are almost nonsensical on closer examination. “Sometimes, to find the light, we must first touch darkness” is one such line. After all, if you’re trying to find the light we must assume that darkness is already upon us. That’s why you’re trying to find the light in the first place!

There are many similar examples. And many, many more problems with the show both in terms of its fast-and-loose affiliation with Tolkien’s lore and worldbuilding, and its messy storytelling. It was pretty, no doubt, but the costumes looked like costumes and the world felt fake in all the wrong ways.

I have not yet, myself, seen any of The Rings Of Power Season 2, but I will be watching this Thursday and will pen my review of the first three episodes directly after, and post my thoughts on YouTube as well (subscribe!). For the nonce, I remain highly skeptical of this gushing critical consensus, but I am willing to be disabused of my skepticism. One must keep an open mind. An open mind is like a river in the darkness, sifting ever for a ray of hope amidst the shadows, like the sun on a verdant forest of gold, glimmering in the eves of eternity before dawn, in the moonlight of the midday sky. Or something.