Bridgerton actor Ruby Barker is opening up about her experience on the hit series, calling out Netflix and Shondaland for not being supportive to her as she experienced “psychotic breaks”, per Variety. Barker sat down for an episode on the LOAF Podcast where she recalls her experience on the show. “When I went into hospital a week after shooting Bridgerton Season One it was really covered up and kept on the down-low because the show was going to be coming out,” she began. “Not a single person from Netflix, not a single person from Shondaland since I have had two psychotic breaks from that show have even contacted me or even emailed me to ask if I’m okay or if I would benefit from any sort of aftercare or support.”

For Barker, the instant jump into fame was challenging to balance, as she felt that her life was “changing drastically overnight” and would have appreciated some support on how to understand her new-found fame — as the series was immensely popular. “I was trying really, really hard to act like it was okay and that I could work and that it wasn’t a problem.” But the actor felt as though she had an “invisible” weapon pointing toward her when promoting Bridgerton, as she was deeply struggling behind closed doors. According to Barker, her deterioration came from her character’s isolation, as it began to negatively impact her mental health. “During filming I was deteriorating. It was a really tormenting place for me to be because my character was very alienated, very ostracized, on her own under these horrible circumstances.”

What Is ‘Bridgerton’ About?

And What Role Does Ruby Barker Play?

Bridgerton is based on a book series by Julia Quinn. The stories are set in Regency-era London and follow the noble Bridgerton family, as each of the eight siblings find love and happiness during their debut into society. However, much like the teen drama Gossip Girl there’s a secret presence that goes by Lady Whistledown (voiced by Julie Andrews). She reports on all the drama that follows the family, whether it takes place at a ball or in an aristocratic palace, but never reveals her true identity. No matter how beautiful the backdrop, there’s always a secret that threatens to change the power dynamic and bring everything crashing down. And that’s exactly what almost happens to Baker’s character, Marina.

Barker was cast as a main character in Season 1 of Shonda Rhimes‘s Netflix Bridgerton series. And she reprised her role for one episode in Season 2. She portrayed Marina, the cousin to the Featherington family. She joins her family as she makes her debut to society. Unfortunately, Marina harbors a dark secret, as she’s pregnant from a previous relationship and is trying to hide it from everyone else. However, in true Bridgerton fashion, Lady Whistledown learns of the secret and tells everyone, resulting in society casting Marina and the Featherington family aside. This alienation of Marina deeply affected Barker, as she felt just as alone as her character.