Prince Harry said he liked making Kate Middleton laugh and “was quite good at it” when she first started dating Prince William.
Prince Harry and Kate Middleton laugh together as they watch the Order of the Garter procession at Windsor Castle on June 16, 2008, in Windsor, England. POOL/Tim Graham Picture Library/Getty Images
In his new memoir, “Spare,” which was released on Tuesday, Harry discusses when Kate and William first started dating, describing the future Princess of Wales as “carefree, sweet, kind.”
“She’d done a gap year in Florence, knew about photography, art. And clothes. She loved clothes. Her name was Kate,” he wrote.
Harry went on to say that he liked seeing Kate laugh, and “better yet, I liked making her laugh.”
“And I was quite good at it,” he continued. “My transparently silly side connected with her heavily disguised silly side. Whenever I worried that Kate was going to be the one to take Willy from me, I consoled myself with thoughts of all our future laughing fits together, and I told myself how great everything would be when I had a serious girlfriend who could laugh along with us.”
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Prince Harry said Kate helped convince him to wear a Nazi costume, which would become one of his biggest scandals.
A man reads The Sun newspaper in January 2005 with a headline about Prince Harry wearing a Nazi uniform at a costume party. Jim Watson/AFP via Getty Images
Harry discusses his 2005 Nazi uniform scandal at length in “Spare,” writing that he had worn the costume to a “fancy-dress party” for William’s friend’s birthday.
The party’s theme was “natives and colonials,” which Harry called “cringy.” Harry said he hated themed parties and didn’t want to go, but William and Kate promised to help him find something to wear — and he wanted to make Kate laugh with his costume.
On the day of the party, Harry said he went to a costume shop and narrowed his options down to a British pilot’s uniform and a Nazi uniform with a swastika armband. He said he called William and Kate and asked what they thought, and they told him to pick the Nazi uniform.
Harry wrote that no one took notice of his costume at the party, but a few days later, a photo of him in the uniform was splashed on the front page of The Sun.
“There were moments over the course of the next several weeks and months when I thought I might die of shame,” Harry wrote of the scandal. In his Netflix docuseries “Harry & Meghan,” released in December 2022, Harry said wearing the costume was one of the biggest mistakes of his life.
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Harry said Kate was the sister he’d never had and always wanted.
Prince Harry with Kate Middleton and Prince William. Karwai Tang/Getty Images
As Harry watched Kate walk down the aisle and marry his brother in April 2011, he said he recalled thinking that “she was more sister than in-law.”
“The sister I’d never had and always wanted, and I was pleased that she’d be standing by Willy’s side forever,” he continued. “She was a good match for my older brother. They made each other visibly happy, and therefore I was happy too.”
But Harry said there was another feeling he couldn’t fight that day — the feeling that he was saying goodbye to his brother.
“The brother I’d escorted into Westminster Abbey that morning was gone — forever,” Harry wrote. “He’d never again be first and foremost Willy. We’d never again ride together across the Lesotho countryside with capes blowing behind us. We’d never again share a horsey-smelling cottage while learning to fly. Who shall separate us? Life, that’s who.”
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Harry said Kate and William never invited him over when he moved across the street from them.
Harry said his brother and Kate never invited him over for dinner when they lived next to each other. Nicky J Sims/Getty Images
In late 2013, Harry moved into Nottingham Cottage after William and Kate moved into Kensington Palace on the same grounds following Prince George’s birth.
In “Spare,” Harry wrote that the idea of living so close to William and Kate excited him, as he hoped he would be “popping in all the time” with “a bottle of wine and an armful of kiddie presents.” But to his disappointment, the couple never invited him over, he said.
“They were half a football pitch away, just beyond a stone courtyard, so close that I could see their nanny pass by all the time with the pram, and I could hear their elaborate renovations,” he said. “I assumed they’d have me over any minute now. Any day. But day after day it didn’t happen.”
Harry went on to say he hoped he could be closer to William and Kate if he got married someday, though he wouldn’t marry Meghan Markle for another five years.
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Harry said Charles and Camilla didn’t like when Kate took attention away from them in the press.
Camilla, the Queen Consort, King Charles III, Prince William, and Kate Middleton in a royal portrait taken on September 18. Chris Jackson/Getty Images via Instagram
Harry wrote in his memoir that Charles and Camilla “didn’t want Willy and Kate getting loads of publicity” and didn’t like when the couple drew “attention away from them or their causes.”
“They’d openly scolded Willy about it many times,” Harry added.
Harry references one such example when Charles’ press officer “berated Willy’s team” after Kate was scheduled to visit a tennis club on the same day Charles had a royal engagement.
“Told that it was too late to cancel the visit, Pa’s press officer warned: Just make sure the Duchess doesn’t hold a tennis racquet in any of the photos,” Harry added. “Such a winning, fetching photo would undoubtedly wipe Pa and Camilla off the front pages. And that, in the end, couldn’t be tolerated.”
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Prince William told Harry that he and Kate felt persecuted and trapped by the British press, as well as Charles and Camilla.
Kate Middleton, Prince William, Camilla, and Charles in 2021. Max Mumby/Getty Images
Harry said the British tabloids were “awash” with negative stories about William “being lazy” in 2015.
“The press had taken to calling him ‘Work-shy Wills’ which was obscene, grossly unfair, because he was busy having children and raising a family. (Kate was pregnant again.),” Harry wrote. “Also, he was still beholden to Pa, who controlled the purse strings.”
Harry added that William and Kate did as many royal engagements as Charles wanted them to do and “sometimes that wasn’t much, because Pa and Camilla didn’t want Willy and Kate getting loads of publicity.”
“Willy told me that both he and Kate felt trapped, and unfairly persecuted, by the press and by Pa and Camilla, so I felt some need to carry the banner for all three of us in 2015.” Harry wrote.
Harry said he later learned the press was “gunning” for his brother because William refused to give them “unfettered access to his family” or “trot Kate out like a prized racehorse.”
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Queen Elizabeth II often commented on Kate’s “beautiful mane,” according to Harry.
Harry recalled the first time Meghan met his father and Camilla, and said she was wearing her hair down “because I suggested she wear it that way.”
“Pa likes it when women wear their hair down. Granny too,” he continued. “She often commented on ‘Kate’s beautiful mane.'”
Harry said Meghan was also wearing little makeup that day, another one of his suggestions.
“Pa didn’t approve of women who wore a lot,” he added.
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Harry said Charles and Camilla wanted Kate to change the spelling of her name.
Camilla, Queen Elizabeth II, and Kate Middleton attend the annual Remembrance Sunday Service on November 11, 2018, in London. Max Mumby/Indigo/Getty Images
In “Spare,” Harry recounted a discussion in which he said Charles asked him if Meghan was going to continue working on “Suits.” Harry, who was about to propose, told his father that he expected she’d want to be with him “doing the job.”
Harry said Charles then told him that there wasn’t enough money to go around and that he was already paying the way for “William and Catherine.”
“I flinched. Something about his use of the name Catherine,” Harry wrote. “I remembered the time he and Camilla wanted Kate to change the spelling of her name, because there were already two royal cyphers with a C and a crown above: Charles and Camilla.”
Harry said Charles and Camilla argued it would be “too confusing to have another” and suggested that Kate change the spelling of her name to “Katherine with a K.”
She did not.
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Harry wrote that Kate used the same flowers in her wedding that a British tabloid claimed had put Princess Charlotte’s life at risk during Meghan and Harry’s 2018 nuptials.
Princess Charlotte and Kate Middleton after the wedding of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle at St. George’s Chapel at Windsor Castle on May 19, 2018, in Windsor, England. Jane Barlow – WPA Pool/Getty Images
Shortly after announcing their lawsuits against four British tabloids, Harry said he felt “energized by a ghastly story in The Express.”
The October 2019 story claimed that the flower crowns Meghan’s flower girls wore during her and Prince Harry’s May 2018 wedding contained lilies of the valley. Harry noted that the flowers can be poisonous to children — if they eat them.
“Even then, the reaction would be discomfort, concerning to parents, but only in the rarest cases would such a thing be fatal,” Harry wrote. “Never mind that an official florist put together these crowns. Never mind that it wasn’t Meg who made this ‘dangerous decision.’ Never mind that previous royal brides, including Kate and my mother, had also used lilies of the valley.”
“Never mind all that. The story of Meghan the Murderess was just too good,” he continued. “An accompanying photo showed my poor little niece wearing her crown, face contorted in a paroxysm of agony, or a sneeze. Alongside this photo was a shot of Meg looking sublimely unconcerned about the imminent death of this angelic child.”
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After Harry and Meghan made their debut public appearance with William and Kate, Harry said the press pitted Meghan and Kate against each other for the first time.
Meghan Markle and Kate Middleton attend the Royal Foundation Forum on February 28, 2018, in London CHRIS JACKSON/AFP via Getty Images
Harry, Meghan, William, and Kate appeared as a foursome for the first time in February 2018 at The Royal Foundation Forum, as Harry notes in “Spare.”
During the event, Harry thought it went well. “The audience was keen, all four of us were having fun, the whole atmosphere was hugely positive,” he wrote. “Afterwards, one journalist dubbed us the Fab Four. Here we go, I thought hopefully.”
But Harry said his perspective on the event changed quickly after coverage of the event indicated Meghan showed support for the #MeToo movement, while Kate didn’t.
While answering a question about women’s empowerment during the event, Meghan said, “Right now, with so many campaigns like #MeToo and Time’s Up, there’s no better time to continue to shine a light on women feeling empowered and people supporting them.”
The comment came on the heels of Kate’s attendance at the 2018 BAFTAs, where she wore a green dress. As Glamour noted, many British stars being honored at the event chose to wear black in solidarity with the movement, so many took Kate’s ensemble as a lack of participation.
Harry said in “Spare” that the outfit wasn’t designed to send that message.
“Something about Meg showing support for #MeToo, and Kate not showing support — via their outfits? I think that was the gist, though who can say? It wasn’t real,” Harry said. “But I think it had Kate on edge, while putting her and everyone else on notice that she was now going to be compared to, and forced to compete with, Meg.”
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Harry said an “awkward moment” happened at the same event when Meghan asked Kate if she could borrow her lip gloss.
Kate Middleton whispers to Meghan Markle at Wimbledon in 2018. Karwai Tang/WireImag
Harry said Meghan forgot her lip gloss for the forum, and while they waited backstage, she asked Kate if she could borrow some of hers.
“Kate, taken aback, when into her bag and reluctantly pulled out a small tube,” Harry said. “Meg squeezed some onto her finger and applied it to her lips. Kate grimaced.”
“Small clash of styles, maybe? Something we should’ve been able to laugh about soon after. But it left a little mark,” he went on to say of the interaction. “And then the press sensed something was up and tried to turn it into something bigger.”
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Harry detailed the issue between Kate and Meghan over the flower girl dresses.
Kate Middleton and Princess Charlotte at Prince Harry and Meghan Markle’s 2018 wedding. WPA Pool/Getty Images
After Harry and Meghan’s wedding, reports surfaced that Meghan made Kate cry over an issue regarding Princess Charlotte’s flower girl dress. Then, during her 2021 interview with Oprah Winfrey, Meghan said Kate actually made her cry.
In “Spare,” Harry gave greater insight into the argument, which he said occurred over the phone.
Four days before Harry and Meghan’s wedding, Kate texted Meghan to let her know Charlotte’s dress didn’t fit. Meghan texted back to let her know the tailor was ready to help at Kensington Palace, but that “wasn’t sufficient,” so she and Kate then spoke on the phone, according to Harry’s memoir.
Harry said Kate told Meghan that Charlotte “cried” when she tried on her dress because it was “too big, too long, too baggy.” Meghan then asked Kate to come to the palace to have the dress altered.
“No, all the dresses need to be remade,” Kate responded, adding that her wedding dress designer agreed with her, according to Harry.
Harry said Meghan then brought up the issues she was having with her father, Thomas Markle, ahead of the wedding, and Kate said she knew what Meghan was dealing with but that the dresses needed to be prioritized.
The phone call ended with Meghan telling Kate she could bring Charlotte to the tailor and Kate saying “fine,” according to Harry. He went on to say that he then went home and “found Meg on the floor, sobbing,” but also that he told her “Kate hadn’t meant any harm.”
“Indeed the next morning Kate came by with flowers and a card that said she was sorry,” Harry went on to say. “Simple misunderstanding, I told myself.”
Harry said that when stories of the argument started to circulate in the press, he, Meghan, William, and Kate gathered to discuss it. During the conversation, he said, “Kate got things rolling straightaway by acknowledging that these stories in the papers about Meg making her cry were totally false. ‘I know, Meghan, that I was the one who made you cry.'”
But when Meghan asked why Kate’s office wasn’t correcting the tabloids, Harry said Kate became “flustered” and “didn’t answer.”
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Meghan and Kate’s wedding rings shared a special connection.
Meghan Markle on her wedding day in 2018. John Sibley – POOL Reuters/AP Images
When speaking about his wedding day in “Spare,” Harry revealed Meghan’s wedding ring was “made from the same hunk of Welsh gold that had provided Kate’s.”
“Granny told me that this was nearly the last of it,” he went on to say. “Last of the gold. That was how I felt about Meg.”
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Harry said tension bloomed between the “Fab Four” when he and Meghan didn’t give Kate and William Easter gifts.
Meghan Markle, Prince Harry, Prince William, and Kate Middleton on the balcony of Buckingham Palace on July 10, 2018, in London, England. Anwar Hussein/WireImage
Harry wrote that in June 2018, William and Kate invited Meghan and Harry to Kensington Palace for tea to discuss the tension between them, and he and Meghan were surprised to find William and Kate were upset about things they were “unaware” of.
“Willy and Kate were apparently upset that we hadn’t given them Easter presents,” Harry said. “Easter presents? Was that a thing? Willy and I had never exchanged Easter presents. Pa always made a big deal about Easter, sure, but that was Pa.”
Despite the surprising information, Harry said he and Meghan told them they were sorry: “Still, if Willy and Kate were upset, we apologized.”
Harry said he and Meghan then told the pair they were upset they had switched their place cards at their wedding, but they denied switching them.
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Kate then said Meghan hurt her feelings when she commented on her “baby brain,” according to Harry.
Meghan Markle and Kate Middleton attend Wimbledon 2019. Karwai Tang/Getty Images
During the same confrontation, Harry said Kate “said she was owed an apology” and that Meghan hurt her feelings.
“I told you I couldn’t remember something and you said it was my hormones,” Kate said, according to Harry, speaking of a phone call between Kate and Meghan during which they discussed Meghan and Harry’s wedding rehearsal timing.
Kate had recently given birth to Louis, her youngest child, at the time.
“Oh yes! I remember: You couldn’t remember something, and I said it’s not a big deal, it’s baby brain,” Meghan confirmed, according to Harry. “Because you’d just had a baby. It’s hormones.”
Harry said “Kate’s eyes widened” at Meghan’s confirmation, and she said, “We’re not close enough for you to talk about my hormones.”
“Meg’s eyes got wide too. She looked genuinely confused,” Harry wrote, going on to say that she told Kate she spoke to her how she speaks to her friends.
Harry said William then told Meghan her comment was “rude” and that “it’s not what’s done here in Britian” while pointing at her, and Meghan then asked him to “kindly take your finger out of my face.”
Harry said the confrontation ended with Meghan telling Kate that “she’d never intentionally do anything to hurt Kate” and the group hugged, “kind of.”
