It’s time to take stock after last week’s bloody battle.

Men are ruining Westeros. Clearly dying lords would rather see their tyrannical sons, eight-year-old grandsons, and/or delusional uncles ascend the throne before a woman ever spoke at a King’s Council meeting. It’s a bit ironic, then, that House of the Dragon’s Targaryen civil war has been fought largely by two women: the Queen Dowager Alicent Hightower (Olivia Cooke) and Princess Rhaenyra Targaryen (Emma D’Arcy). But as we’ll see this week, even their closest allies wish to see that power taken away from them.

After the shocking events of episode 4, Rhaenys (Eve Best) is dead and King Aegon II (Tom Glynn-Carney) is shockingly still alive. As Corlys Velaryon (Steve Toussaint) silently mourns the love of his life in his empty castle, King’s Landing has temporarily lost its ruler. Color me utterly bamboozled as to how this man isn’t dead. But after the maesters pull off Aegon’s armor to reveal bloody injuries that have zero business showing up on our television screens, he’s going to wish he weren’t alive anymore. House of the Dragon gave him Two-Face’s burns from The Dark Knight.

One more thing: What happened to Otto Hightower (Rhys Ifans)? He mentioned that he was traveling to Oldtown for a side quest more than two episodes ago—and we haven’t heard from him since. Without its former Hand, the King’s Council is in disarray. You think Lord Jasper Wylde (Paul Kennedy) knows how to handle this? I don’t think I’ve ever even seen him leave this room!

All Agreed? Let’s Make the Crazy Man King!

Ser Criston Cole (Fabien Frankel) won’t talk about how he saw Aemond (Ewan Mitchell) try to kill his own brother. When Alicent asks what happened, he just responds, “I’m not sure.” Then he makes Aemond a king. At the council meeting, Alicent is shut out and everyone votes for the tyrannical, one-eyed weirdo instead. “His lack of restraint has already cost us dearly,” she reminds the council. “Yes, but the dowager queen is a woman,” Lord Wylds says. Guess that’s that. “Aemond is the next in line,” Ser Criston says. “It must be him.”

So Aemond takes the king’s big ol’ marble. His first order of action? Close all the gates in King’s Landing and don’t let a single townsperson leave without permission. Great idea, Aemond! Make the whole city a prison. They’ll love that. Now that the king is out of commission, Hugh the blacksmith’s wife is also as angry as ever. “The king has lied,” she says. It’s time to leave this doomed city. Well, you waited a bit too long. Aemond just trapped you all in here so that no one can spread word about how the king was grilled alive by a dragon.

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Daemon, what are you doing?

Everyone Hates Ser Criston, but I Hate Daemon

In episode 5, Daemon (Matt Smith) finally reveals his true intentions. He believes that he should sit on the throne. S, he’s playing king at Harrenhal, using the Riverlands as his trial-and-error sandbox. He’s failing miserably. It’s like he’s playing Roller Coaster Tycoon and has built a ride that just drops people to their death. Haunted by ghosts and full to the brim with some mysterious poison brewed by Alys Rivers (Gayle Rankin), he orders around stubborn Riverland lords to disastrous effects. “I did not think they would be so eager to die,” Daemon says after he threatens them with dragon fire. It seems people just won’t do whatever he says outside the castle walls.

Daemon orders Lord Blackwood (Jack Parry-Jones) to commit evil treachery in the Riverlands to end House Bracken, even though he saw firsthand how well that worked out last time. Then Daemon has an awful Freudian nightmare in which he has sex with his mother. Simon Strong (Simon Russell Beale) wakes him up in the middle of the night to an angry posse. House Blackwood idiotically raised Targaryen banners when they sacked the Brackens’ land—looting their religious sites, raping their women, and burning their fields. Oh no! My stupidity has bitten me in the ass once again.

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I’m still Team Black.

Team Rhaenyra Isn’t Looking Half Bad

Back at Dragonstone, Ser Alfred (Jamie Kenna) once again begs for someone to humble him for his sexist remarks. Maybe that’s his kink? “The gentler sex, heretofore, has not been much privy to the strategies of battle,” he says. Oh yeah? And what battles have you fought in, Ser Alfred? Sit your ass down, again. “War has ever been for men to make.” Rhaenyra tells Mysaria (Sonoya Mizuno). Her maid walks in and politely asks if it’s time for her evening tea and Rhaenyra loudly shoos her away: “Not now!” Tensions are high.

Rhaenyra orders Ser Alfred to her office after class, where she decides to send the dissenter away for trying her patience and questioning her ability to lead during every episode. “Are you removing me from your council?” he asks. No…it’s um, a special mission, just for you. She asks him to find out Daemon’s intentions, man to man.

Restless, Jace (Harry Collett) also seeks to make himself useful. He flies away to make a deal with the Freys, who own the big bridge at the Twins. Be careful, Jace! This is the same family that will betray the Starks on Game of Thrones and commit the Red Wedding. Still, he strikes a deal safely. Rhaenyra wants an army on the ground and the Freys want Harrenhal. Sure, why not? That place is a dump. Meanwhile, Rhaena (Phoebe Campbell) made it to the Vale. They’re not happy that Rhaenyra sent her baby dragons fresh out of their eggs, but the Vale also realizes that even newborn dragons are better than nothing.

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Never trust a Frey.

Corlys needs some relief as well. Over House of the Dragon’s fifteen episodes so far, he’s lost his entire immediate family. “My castle is a tomb,” he says. His granddaughter, Baela (Bethany Antonia), mourns the Driftmark of the past. “The wealth you brought back from Yi Ti and Asshai, inspiring awe,” she says in a singsong tone. “I wonder if anyone knew that it was all for her.” Baela reveals that Rhaenyra wishes to name Corlys her official Hand of the Queen, but the Sea Snake is bitter with grief. “Even the death of my wife does not content her,” he says. “Has she not asked enough of my house?”

Following a rousing speech from Baela about how Rhaenys would want him to champion her cause, he seems to accept the offer. He names Baela as his heir to Driftmark, but she reminds him that that isn’t what happens in the book, so it isn’t allowed. “I am blood and fire. Driftmark must pass to salt and sea,” she explains. Okay…but I would like it written down that I tried to change the source material.

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It’s been a rough series for Corlys.

More Dragons? We Have a Bunch of Those, Actually.

Speaking of adding to the source material, Mysaria sends Rhaenyra’s maid to sneak into King’s Landing. She walks up to a soldier outside the gate and mentions Mysaria by name. Luckily, this random guy is a big fan. Oh, Mysaria? She’s my best friend. Come on in! Rhaenyra wants to know what the commoners of King’s Landing are thinking now that Aegon II is bedridden with burns.

Meanwhile, Jace says that they may be able to bolster their forces with those unclaimed dragons that live around Dragonstone. Vermithor and Silverwing are both mentioned, as a nice reminder. “If only they had riders,” Rhaenyra ponders. If only! They look around at the scrolls around them as Jace points out that there “are those of our line who have never ruled.” Bastard children and half-blood Targaryens. “There are records here, surely, of our line and those who fell out of it?” Rhaenyra asks, as if every Targaryen lord kept a list in their Notes app of every woman they’d ever slept with and every bastard child they’d ever produced. “It’s a mad thought,” she says, eyes wide. I’ll say!