In partnership with International Delight, the Bridgerton actress also gave profound advice for modern women in the search for love

Playing Bridgerton’s resident matchmaker Lady Agatha Danbury has certainly given Adjoa Andoh strong opinions on both Regency-era and 21st century relationships, as well as inspiration when it comes to giving dating advice, particularly for the modern woman.

However, exemplary as her character is of becoming a powerful, independent woman – even when odds and societal expectations are against you – it appears there’s no better example of what true love should look like than in her own relationship with her husband of over 20 years, novelist Howard Cunnell.

The British actress, 61, exclusively spoke with HELLO! at a “Coffee & Courting” dating event on February 22 in New York City – hosted by International Delight in honor of their limited-edition Bridgerton-inspired creamers and iced coffee line – and opened up about what keeps her relationship going strong, as well as her thoughtful advice for dating in the modern age (with which Lady Danbury would agree).

“My husband is endlessly curious,” she first shared about her and her husband’s connection, noting that it’s a quality her friends and her three kids, Liam, Jesse and Daisy, also have. “I like people who are curious about things, who ask the question, ‘Why does that go that way? Round and not that?’ Just random, weird questions.”

Gushing about her husband, she said: “He’s incredibly smart. He’s very thoughtful. We both love football. We love sport,” and emphasized how there are “loads of things that keep us connected to each other.”

She continued: “We love music. We love literature. We love the theater. We love the opera. He doesn’t love the dancing so much. But I’ve got loads of good friends I can go out and do that with.”

Adjoah then explained how it’s having both common and individual passions that strengthens their marriage. “I think it’s because we’re independently interested in loads of stuff, and then we come back to each other, [and] we’re like, ‘Did, you know..?!’ So we do lots of that.”

Moreover, speaking about how one might find a love like that, she said: “You work as hard as you can to be as independent as you can, and that means of thought, of pocketbook, [having] friendship groups, interests, everything,” adding: “What you’re seeking is somebody who sees the beauty in you, in your soul, and in your spirit, and who is your friend.” 

“Who is kind to you? Who wants to hang out with you? Who makes you laugh? Who cheers you on in all your successes, commiserates with you in all your challenges? And is your sidekick at all times? That’s what you want. And I think Lady Danbury would have said the same thing.”

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The actress maintained that despite societal evolutions, little has changed about human nature and dating since the time when Bridgerton and Queen Charlotte take place

She further noted Lady Danbury, and herself, would encourage one to consider: “Is this person going to be the companion of your life? Can you go and have adventures together? Can you cope with tragedy together? Can you do silly dancing together? All of that stuff, that stuff is important.”

Ultimately, Adjoa hopes women remember that “we are here for the blink of an eye,” and that “it’s a miracle that we exist as a species.” She declared: “Dive into the ‘mind-blowingness’ of your life. And don’t get caught up in stuff that you don’t have the power to change…  Lean into people who are marvelous and love you and want to have something to do with you. Change the stuff you can change about attitudes, but if they can’t change it, move on, because life is short and glorious, and you need to be right in the heart of it.”